Returning the Wedding Dress...

She pushed the wooden carved door to the boutique, slightly startled from the bells tinkle above her head. Its funny, she always did, despite the numerous times she entered the chic yet small boutique for bridal gowns.

Flashbacks kept coming back to her like brief waves of nostalgia. She struggled behind her emotionless mask she wore on her face. Under this strong exterior, manicured hands, and posture… she was broken, screaming, trapped and desperate. Almost lost in her own soul. She recalled the first time she came into the store, and her breath taken by the vast sea of white, ivory and sparkle of shiny and soft fabric. She blushed that moment, and felt a hot rush crawl up her neck. The day was close. HER day.. That she was to be the spotlight. The bride.

She approached the big energetic girl on the front desk that had become a close confidante over her many visits, and placed the heavy package on the counter slowly like a fragile crystal case that was bound to shatter. She cringed when “P” turned around and smiled somewhat apologetically and lowered her eyes with sympathy. Yes, it was the sympathy that kept her indoors, made her avoid the eyes of the curious people who whispered about her heartbreak, who spent their time keeping their mouths busy with gossip. Unwanted sympathy, gossip and shame kept her hidden. Like a bitten wounded puppy she cowered away.

The feeling is always there. It never goes away. She still cry’s when she goes into places where they used to go. She broke down when she smelled his familiar aftershave on a passing stranger. She wept silently while she clutched her chest tightly in the dark lonely nights. She lived her life, expecting him to walk through her door each day, put his arms around her petite waist and tell her he’s sorry.

Is she weak for waiting for him to come back? Expecting him to miss her like she does? Or stupid for being so blind? Its pathetic... How can you still love someone so much even after they've hurt you, broke their promise to you then abondoned you? Left you out in the cold?
The diamond ring was still on her right hand finger. Well, Of course it is. She just thought of returning the wedding dress today. What, was she expected to delete his number from her cell phone and remove their photo together from the frame on her dresser as well?? She'd pretend she didn't hear it if someone mentioned anything... and on one occassion, she laughed hysterically.

Was it her fault she fell for him and paved her future for him? And believed him when he promised to "never let go"...?
Can she move on, forget, and love again?